Things that make my life worth living

Another year is going away. I was experiencing a horrible day today and felt completely empty and hopeless when I got home this evening. First thing I did was to have a little text with my boyfriend, sharing is caring (lol hope he wont get annoyed because of too much sharing). Then I spent time on thinking. I looked back. Then I came up with listing the most joyful things that keep me on feeling alive.

1. Answering the phone with smile on my face and happy voice.
2. My manager seats next to me holding my hands while I feel terribbly scared.
3. Dealing with ridiculous jackass on the phone, putting them on hold, then swearing #$%^&*&.
4. Getting back to them and keep on being nice.
5. They say thanks to me and happily hang up (most unlikely to happen).
6. When I talk to my admirer - Andi and learn nice new things :).
7. Buddying up with my co-workers and received positive feedbacks.
8. Going to work and knowing that Im going to have fun because Im working with awesome people.
9. Everything about the beach.
10. Crying with Canon when I wanna cry.
11. Making beautiful and tasty coffee.
12. Eating good food.
13. Cooking my own dinner and thinking like: "omg, did I just make those food!! That was delicious"
14. Akon and BEP when taking shower.
15. Harry Potter and Milk Tea.
16. Raining and a cup of coffee or hot tea under the blanket.
17. Watching a movie and feel like Im living on it.
18. Waking up really late after a hell of crazy night.
19. Having No work muahaha
20. Making a dog scared of me.
21. Singing with my highest tone lol
22. Going insane.
23. Laughing for no reason.
24. People think Im crazily mad.
25. Then laughing at them.
26. Thinking about the same thing, looking at each other and brusting into laughing without saying a word.
27. Making people laugh!!!
28. Dancing like noone's watching.
29. Thinking less and just do it!
30. Living without planning. Predictable things are boring.
31. New clothes.
32. Dress up.
33. Feeling pretty.
34. Smelling good and knowing it.
35. Being happy and feeling endlessly high.
36. Taking nice pictures.
37. Ice-creammmmmmmm
38. Seeing the one I love.
39. Feeling loved.
40. Having presents!!!
41. Hearing the song I love for after a long time.
42. Turn on my music and my roomates like it too.
43. Making eye contact and receiving one back and smileeeee.
44. Reading or hearing something really beautiful.
45. Peeing after holding a long time.
46. Taking a bath.
47. Knowing Im not the only one.
48. Doing well in the exam.
49. Observing others going crazy on the deadline day hehe.
50. Knowing something that no else does.
51. Feeling special.
52. Being the *Best*
53. People I dont remember recognizing me.
54. Having loads of money.
55. Going home.
56. People calling at midnight to wish me a happy birthday
57. Sweet text :">
58. People coming over without noticing.
59. Surprised party - planning or having one.
60. Getting drunk.
61. Knowing I did the right things.
62. Doing something special and nice to my boyfriend.
63. Being wicked.
64. Going to school, seeing friends, chatting and sleeping in class.
65. Being in the car with music on.
66. Night drive.
67. Kissing.
68. About to leave and the other was like "no hug?"
69. Going to my friend's house and feeling like Im at my house.
70. Feeling like my friend's moms are also my mom.
71. Surprising my mom with nice present for her.
72. Being with my boyfriend.
73. Sleeping with my boyfriend.
74. Hands in hands with him.
75. Taking pictures together.
76. Teasing my brother.
77. Facebooking with A2 and just letting memories recall.
78. Be myself.

Wake me up when January ends

Tmr is another 9th. Do you remember?

Khi Trang 20!

Nghĩ mà thấy nhanh ghê!

Loay hoa loay hoay con cũng đã 20.

20 năm... Lần đầu tiên trong lịch sử, Bố thân yêu nhắn tin chúc mừng sinh nhật con :)). Chắc một phần cũng nhờ Mẹ đốc thúc, nhưng như thế là quý lắm rôi Mẹ nhỉ.

Con chẳng hề có chút cảm xúc gì trong ngày sinh nhật của mình, cũng chỉ là một ngày khác trên trang lịch. Điều buồn cười là người yêu và bạn bè con thì cứ cuống quýt hết cả lên. Con nhận được thiệp chúc mừng sinh nhật; được bạn bè mua tặng 1 cái bánh sinh nhật thật dễ thương, chúng nó còn hát bài happy birthday cho con nghe và nhảy múa như một lũ khỉ; người yêu 15.oookms ở xa lúc nào cũng cố gắng quan tâm tới con, anh ấy còn gọi điện hát mừng sinh nhật cho con nghe... Con sẽ ghi lại những khoảnh khắc tí tẹo ấy vào bộ nhớ lịch sử cho đến cuối đời.

Trong một ngay mang tính lịch sử như vậy thì tốt nhất là nên ra ngoài và làm điều gì đó mang tính xã hội hơn. Đi ăn là một lựa chọn khá thông minh. Ít ra là nhu cầu bản thân được thỏa mãn và đóng góp tài chính vào sự vươn lên của cộng đồng.

Buổi chiều và tối trôi qua lặng lẽ và bình thản. Một ngày nữa lại trôi qua...

Đặt chân đến Sydney cũng đã 1 năm rưỡi...

1 năm rưỡi kể từ ngày nhà ta bước vào một trang mới của cuộc sống, 1 năm rưỡi kể từ ngày con đi xa thật xa khỏi vòng tay của Bố Mẹ. Mà thật ra cũng ko phải lần đầu tiên, con xa Bố Mẹ lần đầu từ khi con còn học cấp 2 nhỉ Mẹ nhỉ. Những ngày tháng sống một mình, con đã khám phá, trải nghiệm, thấm thía và học hỏi được nhiều bài học, những giá trị đích thực của cuộc sống...

Cũng như Mẹ, bản thân con cũng đã từng lo ngại cái bản tính bướng bỉnh và ngang ngạnh của mình sẽ là một trở ngại trong hành trình kiếm tìm sự chững chạc để quản trị cuộc đời của riêng mình. Nhưng may mắn thay số phận đã ko quá khắc nghiệt với con Mẹ àh. Bằng sự nhận thức của tuổi đôi mươi, nền tảng giáo dục của gia đình và sự trợ giúp của Bố Mẹ con vẫn đang và sẽ sống tốt ...

Mẹ biết không, con đã từng khao khát được rời xa vòng tay của Mẹ, ánh mắt của Cha. Con đã từng muốn được tự do bay nhảy, vùng vẫy trong sự tự do của riêng mình. Giờ đây con đã đạt được nó. Cuộc sống tự lập của con cũng ko đến nỗi tệ, có rất nhiều điều thú vị và con chìm trong những cân nhắc. Có nhiều lúc, rất nhiều, con mệt mỏi khi phải đối mặt với quá nhiều khía cạnh, quá nhiều con người khác nhau, cả những quy tắc sống và cả những thói đời bạc bẽo. Cuộc sống tự lập mang đến cho con đôi chút khái niệm cơ bản về nhìn nhận con người, về lòng biết ơn khi nhận được sự giúp đỡ hay sự tỉnh táo để nhận ra sự đố kỵ và lợi dụng. Cuộc sống tự lập mang đến cho con một khát vọng mãnh liệt được hoàn thiện mình, để không ai khinh và một động lực để con phấn đấu thật nhiều trong học tập. Và Mẹ ơi, giá trị đồng tiền, sức lao động là bài học lớn nhất giúp con hiểu được thế nào là bươn chải, thế nào là mưu sinh ...

Có những lúc con chỉ muốn hét lên cuộc sống sao mà nặng nề quá, nhưng con lại cảm thấy tự xấu hổ, đây là cuộc sống mà con đã chọn, con phải có trách nhiệm với chính mình. Vậy thì hãy đón nhận. Chẳng có gì mà dễ dàng phải ko Mẹ? Mỗi sáng thức dậy với cái laptop, những bữa cơm một mình, những ngày mệt nhoài trở về nhà cũng diễn ra trong sự cô quạnh. Im ắng đến ngột ngạt. Cái gì rồi cũng sẽ quen, sự tĩnh lặng vẫn đang bầu bạn với con mỗi ngày. Hôm nọ chat với ông nội, ông bảo con càng ngày càng chững chạc và trông con rất điềm đạm hihi. Con thích lắm, vì như thế có nghĩa là con đã cứng cáp hơn trong mỗi bước đi. Con tự tin vào bản thân hơn. Có những nỗi buồn, con tự tìm cách vượt qua; có những cạm bẫy, con biết đường né tránh... Và đâu đó, lòng trắc ẩn và nhân ái trong con cũng đang được nuôi dưỡng hài hòa bên cạnh sự nhạy bén và kiên quyết trong suy nghĩ.

Con sẽ còn tiến xa phải ko Mẹ?

Nhưng cho dù con là ai đi nữa thì con cũng rất nhớ gia đình mình. Con yêu thích cuộc sống tự lập, ko phải vì tự ái mà là vì nó là như thế. Con biết con ko cô độc, còn có những người thật sự yêu quý con ở bên con. Sự giáo dục của Bố Mẹ sẽ là nền tảng cho đạo đức và nhân cách của con, để con có thể ngẩng cao đầu nói mình là ai, mình từ đâu đến và mình đang đứng ở đâu trong cái xã hội này, để Bố Mẹ tự hào về con, để tạ ơn cho những người đã đối xử tốt với con, với gia đình mình và để sự đố kỵ trong người nào đó ngày càng tăng để họ sống với nó mỗi ngày.

Con không biết sau này con sẽ làm gì, nhưng con chắc chắn sẽ là một người tốt Mẹ ạh.

Đêm

Đêm về. Nhẹ bẫng.

Mấy nay Sydney nhiều gió lắm. Mình thích cái cảm giác se se lạnh làm người ta ko thể cưỡng lại nỗi nhớ. Cứ ban ngày là nắng rực rỡ, chiều lại lao xao gió. Thoang thoảng trong gió mùi của đất, mình cứ nghe đâu đó tiếng trống thùng thình. Àh sắp trung thu rồi.

Tự dưng đâm ra nhớ Sài Gòn.

Có những niềm vui giản dị như sự tự nhiên của cuộc đời

Dạo này cuộc sống vô vị quá. Ko lớp học, ko assignments, ko exam, ít gặp bạn bè, thỉnh thoảng đi làm... Phải chăng đó là cuộc sống sau khi tốt nghiệp? Nếu thế thì chắc nhảy lầu bây h cho xong. Àh mà ko, lúc đó chắc còn Phúc nữa mà, vậy để mình ráng sống XD

Sống cuộc sống như vầy nên mình ít nhìn vào gương hẳn. Sáng nay dậy lật đật nhìn vào gương, bộ dạng trông cũng khá ổn, mấy cái mụn là hệ quả ko thể tránh khỏi của kiếp cú, rửa mặt sạch sẽ sau một giấc ngủ mộng mị mà mình chẳng còn nhớ được tí gì. Loay hoay cả một buổi sáng với sự bệ rạc trong từng ý nghĩ. Đọc thơ Nguyễn Phong Việt thay vì ăn sáng, làm như ổng viết thơ cho mình vậy mà đọc đến đâu thấm đến đó. Cứ thế ngồi đọc thơ từ web này sang web khác, từ bài này sang bài khác, mặc thời gian trôi... Đến lúc giật mình lại thì đã là 4h chiều.

Đi về nhà tắm rửa, rồi tranh thủ dọn dẹp lại cái phòng thân yêu thì cũng là 6h. Dạo này mình sống rất bình thản, mọi thứ cứ tà tà mà trôi qua, có phải mình đã già rồi ko? Chỉ có người già mới có thể lãnh ngộ được sự bình thản mà thôi (mẹ nói thế mà mình mong ko phải thế). Cuộc đời mình bây h chìm trong sự chờ đợi và từ chối. Chú Phong Việt bảo: "Chờ đợi một nụ hôn mà nếu phải đánh đổi, bất cứ điều gì cũng can tâm". Câu thơ có cao siêu quá ko mà mình chả hiểu được. Chẳng lẽ chú chờ đợi cả một đời chỉ để đổi lấy một cái hôn? Và đến 80% là thương hại?... Chú vẫn tin vào một tình yêu trong sáng, ko vẩn chút bụi trần? Nếu chú muốn thế, chú có thể yêu cháu :)). Và câu thơ của chú vẫn ko hiểu được. Ôi may quá, thế là mình vẫn còn trẻ.

Tối nay chị Quỳnh làm phá lấu và bánh tráng trộn :X. Nghĩ đến thôi là thấy thích rồi.
Chuẩn bị ra giúp chị thôi.Một ngày nữa lại sắp trôi qua :)

Có những niềm vui giản dị như sự tự nhiên của cuộc đời.

Zi Lin Goh

Dear Mich,

Firstly, Im sorry for the late post, it has been 3 days since your actual birthday passed. But it's always better late then never. I was writing this note for you on my fone when I was waiting or buses or trains or somewhere that I could seat and chill.

Ok, Im out of excuses,let's start...

Hmm, we knew each other 1 and a half years ago when orientation was on. I noticed you first because you were late and sit right behind me. You looked very weird at first cause u didnt talk to anyone as well as you were seating by yourself. I knew your existence but we didnt really talk until there was a lady wearing high heels and wasnt able to walk so fast. And that lady was embrassedly me :">. I bet you were laughing at me right hon :)). Then you started talking to me lol. What a start! And then yea, bang, and we getting along very well.

Until now, I have to admit you are the one that I talked to a lot! I without shame can tell you every little thing going on in my life such as people that I like or dislike, tell bitchy about people that I hate, complain when Im annoyed or pissed off, cry to when I feel miserable. You're always there to listen to me patiently, explain for me even though in fact Im your elder sister. There was only you. You, elephant, who knows the most of my Sydney's life; about how suck I am; about what drink I love, what music I listen; or piss off when I swear or do unhealthy-thing,...


You and me can laugh over anything. I shared my ambitions and dream jobs and future plans with you and you have never laughed at it. You dont know how much that means to me babe :). And thank you for sharing your troubles with me.


About crazy 4, I bet if you werent there, crazy 4 cant be completed for sure. You're the main element of our spirit. If you werent there, Im for sure would have ignored 2 boys and just gone for myself. But fortunately you, again, are always there :). And I really appreciate that.

Finally, Michelle I just want you to know that you're the precious friend of mine. I dont know when I will be gone but wherever I might go, I wont never forget you, my friend, my sister, my little girl. That was my pleasure to be friend with such a great person like you. Much to express but only simple wish will simply tell my concern. I wish you would have a long and very happy life.

Lots of Love.

08.09.10

Remember 2 days ago, I was happy and excited like I was dealing estacy when my dream hotel called me up for an interview.

I have been looking toward it for a week already.

Did not sleep well last night made me a bit tired include the fact that I was running rush due to sleepy problem.

By the moment I stepped on the hotel entrance, I could feel my blood running through my veins all the way from head to toes. Waiting for the Human Resource Manager was like gonna take forever when it was actually only 5 minutes.

After asking me 20 bloody questions, we shaked hands and farewell.

I swear to God, I felt totally fail. Getting out of the hotel and I talked to myself "oh my god they are not gonna hire me". Then I cant help but to text Michelle up. Call me when u get home babe, I need to talk to someone so bad...

Cause that was just ... brought me all the way down.

And now, I should go to bed, to forget about the beautiful sunshine out there.

And forget the world.

Human beings are funny

Human beings are funny.
The 1st day at school: "oh my god! I'm so excited"
The 2nd day at school: "when the term will end?"
Same as love.
...
Human beings are funny.
They want to be cared of without giving cares.
They want to destroy things that they have incredibly worked hard to build up.
They want to be left alone when they are extremely lonely.
They want to get rid of something that they know they could not live without.
They want to do nothing even if they are deep in shit.
Then they regretted it.
...
Human beings are funny.
They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly.
All of the lovers are affected by their others halves, but they are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear and pride.
Fear that their feelings may not be recognized or even worse, returned.
But one thing about human beings that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their effection even if it kills them slowly within.

Chuyện cũ

Ngày ấy, khi cô gái và chàng trai đang yêu nhau thắm thiết. Mỗi lần gọi điện thoại, hai người chuyện trò tưởng chừng không bao giờ dứt. Cuối cuộc gọi, luôn là cô gái gác máy trước, sau khi đã cố nấn ná, không muốn nói lời tạm biệt, chàng trai lại từ từ cảm nhận hơi ấm còn vương lại của giọng nói trong không trung, và một nỗi buồn man mác, vấn vương, lưu luyến.



Sau đó, hai người chia tay. Cô gái nhanh chóng có người yêu mới, một anh chàng đẹp trai, hào nhoáng. Cô gái thấy rất mãn nguyện, và cũng rất đắc ý. Nhưng rồi về sau, cô dần dần cảm thấy giữa hai người dường như thiêu thiếu một điều gì đó, sự bất an đó khiến cho cô thấy như có một sự mất mát mơ hồ. Là điều gì vậy nhỉ? Cô cũng không rõ nữa. Chỉ là khi hai người kết thúc cuộc gọi, cô gái cảm thấy khi mình chưa kịp nói xong một nửa câu "Hẹn gặp lại", thì đầu dây bên kia đã vang lên tiếng "cạch" cúp máy. Mỗi lúc như vậy, cô luôn thấy cái âm thanh chói tai đó như đóng băng lại trong không trung, rồi xuyên vào trong màng nhĩ. Cô cảm thấy dường như người bạn trai mới giống như một cánh diều đứt dây, đôi tay yếu ớt của mình sẽ không thể níu giữ được sợi dây vô vọng đó.



Rồi cũng đến một ngày, hai người cãi nhau. Anh chàng đó chán nản, quay người bỏ đi. Cô gái không khóc, mà cảm thấy như là được giải thoát.



Một hôm, cô gái chợt nhớ đến người yêu đầu tiên, bỗng thấy bùi ngùi: Chàng "ngốc" đợi nghe cô nói xong câu "Tạm biệt". Cảm xúc đó khiến cô nhấc máy. Giọng của chàng trai vẫn chân chất, bình thản như xưa. Cô gái thì chẳng thốt lên lời, luống cuống nói "Tạm biệt"



Lần này cô không gác máy, một xúc cảm khó gọi thành tên khiến cô im lặng lắng nghe sự tĩnh lặng của đầu dây bên kia. Chẳng biết bao lâu sau đó, đầu dây bên kia vọng đến tiếng của chàng trai, "Sao em không cúp máy?" Tiếng của cô gái như khản lại, " Tại sao lại muốn em cúp máy trước?". "Quen rồi". Chàng trai bình tĩnh nói, "Anh muốn em cúp máy trước, như vậy anh mới yên tâm".



"Nhưng người cúp máy sau, thường cảm thấy nuối tiếc, như vừa để tuột mất một điều gì." Cô gái hơi run run giọng. "Vì vậy, anh thà nhận sự mất mát đó, chỉ cần em vui là đủ." Cô gái không kìm nổi mình, bật khóc, những giọt nước mắt nóng hổi thấm đẫm cả vùng kí ức tình yêu thuở nào. Cuối cùng, cô cũng hiểu ra rằng, người không đủ kiên nhẫn để nghe cô nói hết câu cuối cùng, không phải là người mà cả đời này cô mong đợi.



Hoá ra, tình yêu đôi khi thật giản đơn, chỉ một chút đợi chờ, đã có thể nói lên tất cả.

~Suu tam~

Ước Mơ

Khi cô đơn, mơ về những phút giây được che chở trong hạnh phúc, được ngả vào một vòng tay thân quen, mơ về một gia đình nhỏ bé và ấm áp mai sau với mình sẽ là một người xây đắp nên nó, một gia đình khi 1 ngày qua chỉ mong ngóng đến bữa cơm tối để trở về sẻ chia và cười đùa hạnh phúc. Mơ đến những tháng ngày tuổi thơ được yêu nhiều hơn đã có.

Khi yêu, mơ về những tháng ngày lãng mạn, những chuyến du lịch chỉ có 2 người ấm áp, mỗi năm một chuyến đi xa, ra khỏi tầm nhìn của Việt Nam hay Sydney, mơ về sự hiểu và yêu thương nhau trọn vẹn, mơ về một đám cưới với hoa, canon in D và nến, mơ mình sẽ là cô dâu xinh đẹp nhất.

Khi bước chân vào ngưỡng cửa đại học, mơ mình đi thi ko cần học cũng được HD, ngày ngày đến lớp ngồi rồi mơ mình được kết quả nhiều hơn công sức mình bỏ ra. Đến ngày cầm tấm bằng trong tay, mơ về một tương lai xáng lạng, về một sự khởi đầu tự tin dù gian khó.

Khi bắt đầu tự kiếm ra tiền, mỗi lần nhìn bank account mơ một ngày mình có khả năng kiếm thật nhiều tiền, tự mua cho mình những thứ đồ xa xỉ mà ko phải lăn tăn, mơ mua được một căn nhà, một cái xe, mơ mua được cho những người thân những gì họ thích, mơ mỗi năm đưa bố mẹ và em đi du lịch một nước bằng tiền của mình chứ ko phải credit card của các cụ (dù biết các cụ cũng chả cần ...)

Khi nhìn người thân bạn bè khóc trong tuyệt vọng và đau khổ, mơ được làm chỗ dựa tinh thần, mơ mình có một đôi vai vững chắc với quyền lực đủ để trừng phạt những ai làm họ đau khổ. Mơ mình có thể quay ngược lại quá khứ, làm lại tất cả, mình sẽ ko làm họ khóc.

Khi có những người đến bên mình, trở thành một phần của cuộc sống, ước họ sẽ mãi ko rời xa, ước mình có nhiều thời gian ở bên họ hơn, chia sẻ được nhiều hơn. Mơ được thấy mình sống hạnh phúc và có ích. Khi có những người làm phiền cuộc sống, mơ có đủ can đảm và dũng khí hét vào mặt ngta biến đi ra khỏi cuộc sống của tôi những kẻ ko đáng có.

Khi có những thứ níu kéo ko còn được, có xảy ra hay ko cũng chỉ đem lại buồn bã và nước mắt, ước có đủ bản lĩnh để từ bỏ hay mơ ước có đủ nghị lực để xem như nó chưa từng tồn tại.

...

Có những ước mơ nhìn và nhận ra mãi cũng chỉ là ước vọng

Có những ước mơ vẫn đang hi vọng...

24th August

That's the second times Im wearing the shirt since u bought for me. I rarely wear it cause Im afraid of its gonna be damaged soon.
But today I intend to donate my blood with YOUR shirt on as if u were there with me. And we did good thing TOGETHER.
I do care of myself. But I wanted to share the amazing feeling when I could have received the letter from Red Cross Blood Service thanking that my blood saved 3 people with you...
I want you to be proud of me when I can help people though Im not a billionaire.
Babe do you understand?
...
Alright forget it.
I just washed the shirt by hands.
I look pretty on it, really :)

Revolutionary Road

Movie is supposed to be entertaining and bringing relax to watchers. But some movies didnot bring entertainment at all. I had been struggled 2 hours under the feeling of disgusting as well as pitiful for those people that are living as if they have to suffer something that is just too hard to be denied.

First disgusting start with a wife who was trying to do abortion to herself to get rid of a 10-week-old kid and saying her first daughter was a mistaken, therefore she does not want kid anymore.

Second disgusting was when the husband confessed to her that he was fucking a girl in the city a few times. And guess what was the wife respond? "Why did u tell me about this? U want me to get jealous or something? I did not feel anything. You know what, just fuck anyone that you want to". For God's sake, it was like somebody punched me right on my face. I was like what the fuck??? Is she a monster that is unable to feel or love or care about her husband or something??? That is just horrible.

Third disgusting was the husband slept with a colleague and a wife slept with her best friend's husband in a car... Nothing much to say.What a family.

That movie leaves me a very hopeless emptiness after all. I can understand why it wasn't given any award though it has 2 super stars Leonardo and Kate.
Because it was too true to be acceptable.

I will never be like that. I'm no difference from others. But Im trying to make differences. So here is the point, to remain a happy marriage, let's start at the very basic thing. Love your husband.

Không đề.

Anh có biết không phải anh may mắn khi được em yêu mến mà là em may mắn khi có một người như thế để yêu.

Khi không thể với tới, hoặc khi mất mát, người ta thường nói "Duyên phận là thứ quý giá nhất". Nhưng hôm nay, trong một ngày bình thường chẳng có gì đặc biệt, cũng muốn nói lời cám ơn Duyên phận thật là nhiều.

Bây h là 4h sáng, em vẫn yêu heo béo rất nhiều :*

I feel like I lack the capacity to say "NO" to food

A normal night out with my dears Mich, Zin and Ling "blink blink" :)). Eat and laugh are a very match combination dont u know XD. Then dancing porn on the street at 10pm. Chilling at Mich's place to electronic music. And now Im sitting warmly in front of my lappy wishing crazy 3 could have fun with fishing at BluePoints. Im too full right now to make any movement.

The reason I wrote this post is because of 13 aint a nice number, so I make it 14 :))

Wonderful Celebration

Wednesday was a tiring day ever, physically and mentally. We had to work on final exam, hand in two assignments, work on financial plan was a bloody headache, dinner, surprised plan, make video clip, take pictures... Most of the time we were freezing but everywhere we went, 4 of us couldnt help laughing our ass out :)

And I cant forget Adrian's expression for the whole night, that was so so cuteeeee XD hahahaha. We all head to his house to have some sleeps after uncountable laughs. End of the very happy day.

Things getting cheesy when we all got home and received his 3-long-pages text haha. I was like what the fuck man :))))

That's was an awesome birthday that one could ever have. Thanks a lot guys. But make sure u guys leave me alone on my birthday yeah. Text and cards are more than enough for meeeeeeeee

Yesterday was another 9th ...

...
I have to say, I have never loved ANY different-blooded person that much.
I also have never thought I would.
But uncontrollably I did.
I was writing a very long note in Vietnamese but its getting corny so I just deleted it all and wrote in English.
Just so you know, I love you and its getting worse.
...
Wish I could find the words to touch you deep inside babe.
But I guess that's something only love can do.

Something about me

1. I can do what I dont like.
2. I hate my neighbors.
3. I love my brother.
3. I can cry when I want to.
4. I am not interested in animals.
5. I want to do charity when I get rich.
6. I dont discuss people.
7. I dont like being controlled by anyone.
8. I hate eating alone.
9. I have many friends. I realised, some I care, the rest I dont.
10. My life is a madness if you understand what madness is.

A pretty truth

Love is not blind. It just doesnt mind.
.
.
.
Đang ngủ bất thình lình tỉnh dậy nhớ anh :X. Nhớ quá ko ngủ lại được nữa ...

For what people called "friendship"

How many of you have a friend whom you can call up at 2am in the morning?
How many of you have a friend whom you can tell everything to without feeling ashame of what you have done?
How many of you have a friend who is always there for you?
How many of you have a friend who is willing to come to your place when you are crying and they just dont give a damn of how far is the distance or how late it was?
How many of you have a friend who give you their hands, stops you and stands up for you?

I luckily have friends like that. Not all. But some.

I dont care if they really understand or feel the same way as I do. I just want them to know: It hurts like hell for me to leave them, because they are someone I cant see living without. No matter how much of a jack ass they can be, I never want them out of my life.

They just ... mean a world to me. They are just too important. Somehow. Not sure how, but they are.

Making friend has never been hard. But to maintain the friendship is real hard. I made new friends on the way that Im going along life. Nobody is alike to one another, every single person has their own meaning and value. And I appreciate all of them, time is not a matter that we can use to measure how deep the friendship is.


That's why ...

... there are only two possible reasons make me feel like Im a miserable loser:

- One is when I lose a friend
- Another is ... I cant think of any

Where is my simplicity?

I am 20

I read too much. That's probably the reason why I think too much.

Today while waiting for the train going to my friend's house, I was thinking of why people get divorced.

"Through happiness or sorrow, poor or rich; do you want to take this man/woman as your wife/husband for the rest of your life?" You say "I do"

Is divorce the back of your mind as you are saying I do?

I will never know...

Alright, whatever, I dont want to know though.

Peace out

The storm is crazily screaming outside. The wind keeps on knocking on the window begging to come into my bedroom. I, myself lie on the bed, grab blanket over my head, barely breath, enjoy listening the rhythm of the rain.

Hearing my babe's voice always calm me down and wipe all the worries up. It's 4am in the morning and we are 15000kms apart, and i still love you.

I find some peaces tonight :)

Cheers

Sth

There are two reasons why I wake up in the morning: my alarm clock and You.

Incompleted

Tonight I sat on the edge of the bathtub in my apartment, thinking an endless thought to the sound of water drops.
Phuong Thanh is singing "Thuong Mot Nguoi" , the melodious of the indescribable sounds of losses and passages move through me like their mine to feel sorry about.
I closed my eyes and let the music free my soul...

Thương ai về ngõ tối
Bao nhiêu lá rơi rơi
Thương ai cười không nói
ngập ngừng lá hôn vai
.
.
.
Bàn chân âm thầm nói
Lặng nghe gió đêm nay
Ngại ai vuốt đôi vai
Bờ vai như giấy mới
Sợ nghiêng hết tình tôi

I need you.

Niềm tin

Khi mẹ nhận lời là vợ của bố, vợ của một doanh nhân, mẹ chẳng nghĩ tới ngày mẹ cũng là một doanh nhân với ngàn gánh nặng trên vai. Cảm ơn Mẹ vì đã kiêu hãnh, hy sinh và san sẻ. Cảm ơn Mẹ vì Mẹ đã không là cô Tấm nhỏ hiền lành, ngày ngày nép mình bên khung cửi. Mà là điểm tựa cuộc đời của Bố!

Con đường dài phía trước thành công thênh thang và rộng mở. Ở đó có nước mắt, có nụ cười, có tiếng nói trẻ thơ và cả trái tim của một người vợ. Con mong Bố mãi trân trọng nó Bố nhé.

Cuộc đời và sự hạnh phúc của Bố Mẹ là niềm tin của những đứa con vào một mái ấm của riêng mình sau này. Con cũng mong con sẽ có đủ bản lĩnh và may mắn để tìm được hạnh phúc và giữ cho hạnh Phúc luôn mỉm cười.

Viết cho Bố và Mẹ vào một ngày Sydney mưa tầm tã. Con gái vừa tắm xong, đang ngồi cạnh đống sách vở ngổn ngang và ly trà sữa trân châu.

Somehow everything I own smells of you

And somehow you smell just so good :X

Không đi đâu cả

Chỉ biết an ủi anh sau một ngày tất bật. Bằng một icon cười nhạt đến não lòng ... haizz

Has anybody ever told you I was very concerned about the distance?

Everytime I wake up in the morning, I look beside me you're not there ... and it gets me down real bad...
They say that it couldnt last, it's "out of sight, out of mind"... And I did wonder this over and over.
But absence makes the heart growns fonder.
This is probably why lovers who are apart spend most of their time thinking about each other.
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined to strengthen each other ... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. Distance doesn't matter if you really love the person, what matters most is your honesty and trust for this relationship to work out...
Missing you gets easier everyday because even though I'm one day further from the last time I saw you, i'm one day closer to the next time I will... When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you. It makes me forget the distance and capture you. And if you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you !

What else matters?

You aren't going to be his first, last or his only. he's loved before, he will again. but if he loves you now, what else matters? he's not perfect. you aren't either. the two of you will never be perfect but if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. he is not going to quote poetry, he's not going to be thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. don't hurt him, don't change him, don't expect more than he can give. try not to over-analyze. smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad and miss him when he's not there.

PS: this entry I dedicate to my dears: Elaine and Adrian.

He said ... "that's her"

The man that I am having and waiting for is the one:

-who texts me everyday, asks where I am and how I am
-who calls me back when I hang up on him
-who lies on bed with me and listens to my heartbeats
-who stopped pushing in when I said Im hurt
-who stays awake just to watch me sleep
-who kisses my forehead
-who wants to show me off to the world
-who holds my hands and kisses me in front of his friends
-who thinks im pretty without any makeup and nails color
-who constantly reminds me of how much he cares of me and how lucky he is to have ME
-who wants me to be his so badly
-who says Im the one that is destined for him
-who says Im his everything
-THE ONE THAT TURNS TO HIS FRIENDS AND SAYS, "THAT'S HER"

I miss you

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

U might have wondered why I'd never counted our anniversaries, even when we were in high school, right? :). Everything has its own reason. I didnt see no point of counting it. You might think Im lack of confidence or I do not trust in the everlasting relationship we are in. No babe. If a person loves another person, truly; there wont be a day that they dont love each other anymore. They are just not seeing each other any longer.

People say there is only once time we are truly in love, the rest is just feeling that similars with love. I didnt believe it. But Im getting to realise how true it is...

The time we have been with each other is countless, the memories we have with each other is priceless.
And my love for you is just ... endless.

The greatest pride in life reviving from failure

1. The greatest enemy in life is the self

2. The greatest ignorance in life is deceit

3. The greatest failure in life is narcissism

4. The greatest tragedy in life is jealousy

5. The greatest fault in life is to lose oneself

6. The greatest crime in life is disloyalty to parents

7. The greatest pity in life in self-depreciation

8. The greatest pride in life reviving from failure

9. The greatest bankruptcy in life is hopelessness

10. The greatest wealth in life is health and wisdom

11. The greatest debts in life is owing love

12. The greatest gift in life is acceptance and forgiveness

13. The greatest shortcoming in life is lack of awareness

14. The greatest console in life is endowment and charity

From Buddist

Life without music background

[me helping a disability child]

Im having a hard time right now, felt like I was wrong in making decision
But...
Life is full of beauty
Notice it.
Notice the flowers, the little child, the smiling faces
Feel the wind.
And smell the rain.
Can you feel it? Can you feel the peace inside of you?
Can you feel what a wonderful life you are living?
Live your life with the fullest power.
Fight for your dreams.
Laugh as much as you breath.
Love as much as you can.
And at the end, you will see ...

Why are you here?

"You're not meant for a place like this.

Get away while you can, people like you and I don’t end up living very long..."

Car?

Dear hideout,

Mom called me up just now.

"Sweetheart, do you want a car for your birthday?"

I was like, Mom aint you talking about a CAR or a CANDY :|

Speechless man.

Uhm, but I said no. I havent had a license yet and Im not confident in driving a car and I dont wanna work my ass out then spend all my salaries on car's expenses. And the main reason is I wanna buy it myself, like Adrian did :)

Btw, could u please stop offering me any goods Mom? >.<. Though I want to make u proud by doin staff by myself but it is getting hard to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh la la

Soooooo, 3 more weeks left and no more school to go :x. Gotta have my very first certificate in AUS hihi. 1 more year to go for Barchelor ... And Im officially graduated. My babe needs 4 years (crap hix)

No school ... Meaning unable to meet up with all my dears often anymore :(. That part makes me sad the most. I will find the way to meet u all up anyway since we hang out a lot now, why on earth we can not later on? Right >:)

So here is the plan after school:
1. Working incredibly hard to earn money for, perhaps going back to Vietnam to see Mom (she said she's happy to pay for the ticket but i refused :) ), perhaps staying here earn some more money than go travelling around the world before struggling with Barchelor.

2. Party very hard!!! Start with Adrian and Zin's birthday parties XD. Cant wait babe, cant wait ... Wonder what Michelle's gonna do for Zin XD

Seriously, I really wanna go back home for a month now. Home is the place, you growing up wanting to leave and growing old wanting to get back to. I only can find peace when Im at home (boredom as well). But since I havent seen my Mom for a year and my babe maybe go back too, I would kill for being home then!!!

Speaking of my Mom, I miss her hell lots now ... Due to a very busy business they are handling (Dad just extands one more business), Mom and Dad do not have time to talk to me... We talked just 2 weeks ago since I dont have job and is currently out of money, have no other way but to ask Mom for money. Feel so ashame hixhix. Months ago, they are just so confused and frustrated when I had refused taking their money and went to work myself, that's why Dad seems happy when I asked for assisstance nw :). Dad doesnt want me to work (still). He's afraid I will be tired due to working and studying at the same time. Come on Dad! Kiss ur little girl goodbye. Im 20 years old now Daddy, this is my turn to take care of you lah.

Let's see ;)

Crazy 4!!!

There is no word for me to express how I did feel today :X

I was kinda bored since last night clubbing was more than hell to me. Lack of sleeping and retained boredom...

Wake up at 2pm by Zin's call. Taking shower rushly, getting change and Im out of the door again :))
Get into the car with all my dearest friends, they all said hi and asked stuff, man what on earth can be happier than that. Then we all head to the beach, ice skating was waiting for us woo hoo :)). but then too many ppl around the skating area made us lost interest since no one knows how to ice-skate probably and we dont want to lose any fingers :))

Then we had to find the place to park the car. That was so funny when Adrian search on GPS: " Car park in bondi BEACH". LMAO. It's not google search and he put on so many words =))))))). Poor babe, ur brain must be really tired :)). Perhaps, Zin and Mich shouted at him so much today hoho

The weather was quite nice today. And the beach was just awesome!!! We drawing we dancing we taking pictures we recording we shouting. Everything is just awesome!!! And me ruined it by pissed off =.='. Man, but that was quite not cool since ur ass is full of sand and water...

Anyway, we headed to Macquire Center for ice skating (back to the main point hoho). I kinda like it XD. That was fun too. Since Im a sport girl so that i catch up quite fast. And luckily I didnt fall at all and skated with hand off the bench hihihi. Unfortunately, babe Adrian got serious injury by kissing the floor with his face. I was not there at that time, didnt know what happened till Elaine came up with watery eyes... I was like OMG and we run to him. Adrian had gone into the male toilet for clean up the bleeding face. And he was in there ALONE! Shit man, I dont care it's male toilet man, my friend got hurt and i didnt even see him... Luckily, there is no teeth gone, just only lips-bleeded and forehead hurt phewww

We went to medical check later on to make sure that nothing is wrong with his brain. And when everything is fine. All headed to city for karaoke ... again XD.

End of a day.Tired. Cold. And fun.

I have to go to sleep now or else I could not wake up tmr to do the site map for the afternoon-due-assignment.

Good night to you ~

Good night to my love. I love you :*

L.O.V.E

Once again, we fight. Once again, we tie...

Day passed by and I surprisingly realise what the power of love can do.
When you love someone, you can never let go.
When you love someone, your own problem or your own pain is just nothing compare to theirs.
When you love someone, you can do anything to make your other half smile.
As simple as it.

I hope you would find love somewhere.

And me, I found my love already, so I only have to back with my lovely assignments hohoho

Ciao ~ (learnt from Mich :D)

All good things come to an end...

Sounds sad, isnt it?

How about you call me first?

5 June 2010

Well,

It is 4.16am in the morning ...

Last night I went to bed about 5am and woke up at 4pm. The rain was heavy outside and the sky was so dark ... What a bad weather lately. I dont mind the cold or the rain, but it's the cold AND the rain that's annoying.

Well, keep living like that, time flies. Isnt that good? Wasted my youth quietly :))

Enough talk. 99

Dear my hideout,

This is 2.50am in the morning and I couldnot sleep ... again.
There is so many things mixed up in my tiny mind. I need a break. I am scared of sleeping. I had nightmares lately and these are killing me. I think I am obsessed with sth, the thing that hasnot been able for me to kick it out. I hate those headaches man.

Btw, I felt weird today, really weird with a best friend's accent, felt insecure and uncomfortable.

Last words for today, I miss my man so much! U better kill me rather than let me live like this babe ...

28.05.10

Finally, Im back from Finland. Back to real life eh =.='

I have been thinking of my boyfriend for 24 hours up in the air... I miss him since the moment that I went into the security control and he went back home. The very tightly goodbye hug was not enough. I had to run out of this arms. I cannot stand brusting into tears if we kept holding on. Jesus... I realised that I love him so much. Phuc Lam is the best thing on Earth that I ever had (uncount my family, of course)

Finland is pretty quiet and cold. It is so much cheaper comparing with Sydney. People there is warm and friendly. I kinda like that. Over all, I like the time that we spent together the most :(. There is no word could show how much I miss you babe (about to cry hix). You are sleeping right now but I can not sleep. I get used to sleep within your arms already and imma addicted to that. What am I gonna do >.<

Phuc Lam!! It's all your fault, I miss you to death :((

4.23Am

Wonder how long will it last?

Thing to think

Today I have leant two simple lessons which are:

- The more you give, the more they take
-Better staying at home rather than going out with assholes

Avoiding paying for girl, that's fine. But forcing girl to pay for them, just wonder what kind of boy is that? Oh, it is called ASSHOLE!

09 May 2010

Well, Adrian and Jojo gone ... We have a really awesome night last night yea XD. Thanks to Michelle, Zin, Adrian and Trang; though I was frozen walking on the street XD

Sydney must be really boring without friends. I miss them already :(

3 more days and Im going as well. Haiz, leaving Michelle and Zin is such a painful thought.

Time to pack up ...

Btw, happy mother's day to my Mom and all the beautiful moms out there. You are the best thing in this planet Moms!

Think

Will you take what you cant repay?
I will choose to run away

The Proposal

Dear diary,

"Trang oi, lam vo anh di :">. Acc relationship stt mau :X:X:X>:D<" is exactly what he texted me this morning. Jesus Chris, It's 9 in the morning and then I couldnt get back to sleep.

IM SO HAPPY ppl XD

First time!!! First time ever he said that to me XD. Though I know there is a decision made when he's in joy hihi. Though I know this is just a said. But well...doesnt matter Im still happy hihi.

He's just so into me so far.

I feel like dancing all day since all trouble-maker-major-assignment is gone plus the excitement of all sudden things my babe has done today. I got the ticket already. I will be going on 12 of May :X. I just cant wait any longer. When I see him I want to touch him, when Im touching him I want to kiss him, when Im kissing him I want to ... Oh never mind.

Do u think it's time to have some serious thought 'bout future?
Nah still early, still feel unsecure, dont think too much, dont announce things easily and freely Mina

My awesome boyfriend

Wanna talk a bit about my babe. I just cant help sharing and talking about him to everyone even they havent asked :">. but here, Im kind of talking to myself so i can talk freely about him. Michelle might read this and she will be always welcome.

Phuc and me have been known each other for 5 years already since we were in high school. Well, can say that we are in hatred at first sight hahaha. But then, dont even know why he liked me. It's weird u know! I just cant believe that there will be some body that liked my weird personality =.='. but he did. He loves me unconditionally :X.

We were in a relationship and being deep in love for 7 months. He had to go abroad later on, left me behind ... i was sad, of course, but I cant be sad from day to day or month to month. I have friends and lived happily with them. 6 months later we broke up. He kicked my ass cause' some kind of geting bored and we are just too far away. Fine! Broken up cant kill me. But I know I still love him so much :). I hoped he would be happy with his new gf who is able to be there when he needs. OMG, I know Im a bitch but sometimes Im really kind and noble. I didnt even hate him or sth for leaving me ...

Time passed. We didnt keep in touch regard to his new gf and he didnt get online often. I lived my life. He lived his life. Our lives were just 2 pachelbel never cross the others. But then accidentally, we met again in Vietnam. Drama started :)

...

Today he is having exam for university. I wish u best of luck. Love you so :*

Finland

Hohoho yesterday was so funny chatting with monkey Durian. lol.

I got a call from Finnish Consulate that my visa was ready to be collected XD. I was so happy!!! Finally, I got the visa and enough money to buy the ticket, Im coming babeeee. I cant wait to see you any longer >.<. WE havent seen each other for 3 months already. OMG. How did I survive for a long time like this without touching you?!

Back to Mr Adrian, haha, he said Im insane, going all the way just to see my bf haha and make sure that im gonna marry him or he will kick his ass, then mine LOL. Since when u had started caring of me huh. Anyway, I was kind of happy when he said that :)

Im going to buy the ticket on Tuesday :)

Yeah Im insane! After buying the ticket I have no money left ... But this's ok. As long as I can meet my bf, I will definitely find the way even if the way seems like impossible. Jeez, can a person loves another person that much?

25 April 2010

Yesterday i was out for drinking with 6 others friends. I realised that I am a really brave girl. haha. I have like 5 assignments are waiting for me to complete (deadline next week) but still have time for going out and drinking. But it was fun though.

Firstly, I went out for dinner, then went around Myer searching for perfume. At that time it was 8pm sth already meaning all shops are closed. You might wonder why shop closed at 8pm (time that ppl wants to shop), believe me, I dont even know why either. Blurrr. Then too disappointed, all of us head to Thai Town for ice creammmmm yay!! It was really delicious man. I definitely bring my babe there if he comes over to see me (hopefully) LOL.

Then, suddenly some of the friends wanted to go karaoke so badly as he was a bit drunk already. All of us were going to the karaoke unwillingly at first. After 3 shots of Whisky, it turned into exciting XD. 2 of us were drunk. The rest werent drunk but felt so high, u know XD. Singing till 1AM then had to back home as I have work in the early morning the follow day and regardless to our drunken friends haha.

Took them home, chat for awhile then back to my lovely house and slept. Suddenly (again) my baby called me :X:X:X:X:X:X. I was missing him so badly on the bed hihi and then he called me. Is this some kinds of connection XD. We talked for half of an hour. I was so happy to hear his voice. He is my favorite ever :X. He said some sweet stuff and the first time for 6 years, we talked about future!!!

Erm, we have never talked or even thought about the future before, stuff like when will u marry me, will u be my wiffy or hubby ,... awww. NEVER before. Cause I dont like that kind of unthoughtful stuff and so does he. Marriage aint thing that we can talk freely about. Cause it's kind of promises that will only hurt if it cant be done :). And with me, even im a bitch but if it is marriage there will be no kidding. Yea, a bit speech about my point of view, back to the topic, he was saying that he wants to take me to his family for dinner if we have a chance :). It was too much for me!!! He aint got no idea how much the thing that he just easily said mean to me. It seriously meant a lot!!! I was speechless. U know. with me, it's more than "I love you" or "I miss u". HE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO HIS HOME AND HAVE DINNER WITH HIS FAMILY. Moreover, he said he really wants me to talk a bit with his sister :). Due to some problems had occurred in the past, my relationship between his family and me wasnt good, if I dont want to admit it was really bad :D.

Yea, hang up after 30 minutes, awww poor him. I hope he would not be having a heart attack when the bill comes out lol.

That made my day ^^.

Wish u have a good night diary muahh

Hi everyone, I mean Michelle lol

I made this blog for years ago and have not written anything since it was created. Talking with Michelle just now and wanna use it again. But now IM ON FIRE!! I dont have time to write things, an iceberg of assignments are waiting for me overthere, see you when i shoot all of them death

Here is so quiet. So peaceful. Love it :X

Mina.